


It Never Works

by Miss_Nightmare



Category: Blessthefall
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-19 23:36:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7382134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Nightmare/pseuds/Miss_Nightmare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fourth of July brings back suppressed feelings...</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Never Works

**Author's Note:**

> So I have this thing where I write holiday themed fanfics...

Matt sets down the case of beers in his hands on the counter top, Brianna rolling her eyes as he does.

“That's case number five,” she points out, hand on her hip, dishtowel in the other. They've been preparing for their Fourth of July party all day long (well, pretty much all week long) and their both excited for it. Matt especially, since he is going to get to drink and hang out with his friends. Speaking of which, Jared and Eric should be here soon, by which time he can stop helping with preparations and actually start partying.

“Your point? We're inviting a lot of people,” he answers. 

“My point is,” she says, her heels clicking as she walks across the kitchen tile, “that you and your band mates, minus Beau, are the only ones drinking that beer. And I'm not even sure if Elliott drinks beer anymore! Five cases of beer for four people, Matt.”

“You're right... Should I have gotten another?”

“You're insane,” she laughs, realizing it does no good to try to explain to Matt that it's too much, and continues setting up the appetizers that she had worked so hard on.

“But you love it-”

_Knock knock knock!_

“Matt, let us in! It's hot as shit out here!” Eric screams, and Matt wastes no time in rushing towards the door and opening it up.

“Hey,” Jared says, smiling shyly That's the way it always started out with him – he starts out being shy and once you talk to him a bit and he gets comfortable – he's the most outgoing person in the room. That is, if he's not too busy laughing.

Matt loves that about him.

“Beau brought fireworks,” Eric says as he collapses onto their couch, panting like a dog on a hot summer's day.

“Bitches love fireworks,” Beau says as he strides in holding two large yellow cardboard boxes, clearly labeled with red letters 'fireworks'.

“And by bitches you mean Elliott,” Matt corrects, laughing afterwards.

“Well, yes,” he smiles, setting the boxes down onto the coffee table and then sitting beside Eric. Jared stands in the corner awkwardly, and Matt walks over.

“Want a beer?” he asks, and Jared smiles. 

“You know it.”

***

Later on, once Jared finally loosens up, he and Matt end up playing video games on the Wii. The only thing Matt's noticing is how much fun he's having with Jared, and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with him. Wait – no – not like that. He's already married to the love of his life, Jared is just his friend and you don't think about spending the rest of your life about friends, right?

He's over thinking things again – he's got to stop this.

The three beers and two shots of vodka he's had aren't doing him any favors, however, in the thinking department, and he's having a hard time not over thinking things.

“You're cheating! You're fucking cheating!” Jared screams, jumping up from the couch, controller in hand. 

“Am not! You just fucking suck!” he replies, laughing as he crosses the finish line on the video game. “Fuck yeah!”

“God dammit!” he screams, throwing his controller down. “Rematch!”

“Matt, I need help lighting the fireworks!” Brianna screams from outside. Matt sighs and stands up, Jared following.

“Rematch later, then,” he says, following him. 

As Matt lights the first one, memories that he supposed to have suppressed flood back in flashes. He tries to block them out, but they're vivid, as bright as the colors popping in the sky...

_Lips colliding, hands shaking, small moans escaping Jared's lips every time Matt bites in that place on his neck that he loves so much._

“That one was so pretty, oh my gosh, look! It was silver, do it again, Matt, do it again!” Brianna exclaims, jumping up and down. He isn't smiling as he does it, though, his stomach is turning and he feels as if he might be sick.

Probably too much vodka...

_“What if Beau walks in,” Jared asks as he crawls on top of him._

_“He won't,” he reassures, kissing his soft lips afterwards._

He still remembers the taste – salty and sweet like his favorite candy.

“I give that ten stars!” Jared says, clapping afterwards. He walks up, Matt's heart beating faster with every step he takes. “Here, can I do one?”

“Ye- yeah. Sure,” he says, handing him a firework, and when he does their fingers touch and eyes meet.

It's as if he's thinking the same thing – as if the feelings are still there for him too, that they didn't just dissipate because they had wished them away or had gotten married or - 

Or anything.

He wants to lean forward just enough to close that stupid fucking gap between their lips that seems to always get on his nerves. He wants it to close and stay that way – he wants to taste him again, to have that feeling that's fuzzy and warm and everything that he shouldn't feel about Jared. He's supposed to only have those feelings for Brianna.

But it's so hard when he's right there and his eyes are clear and he feels like he's looking into a clear ocean of happiness, of memories they've shared and all the time they've spent together. 

A wave of sadness hits him as they separate, Jared setting off the firework and their friends cheering as he does.

_The fireworks are going off outside the house as they make love for the first time, finally being able to feel each other – to feel what they've been thinking about for years._

_It feels like they were meant to do this. He knows the rhythm to go at, he understands what Jared's noises mean – when to slow up or stop..._

As they both make their way back to the house, carrying discarded fireworks and the likes, he finds himself wanting to say something. What – he doesn't know. 

“Fireworks are always the best,” Jared says, breaking their silence. 

_This is so stupid – just say something!_ , Matt thinks, shaking his head. The angel on his shoulder is telling him to be quiet – be a good boy and stay loyal to Brianna and stay straight because, fuck, you are straight. But the devil (or at least he pictures it as the devil) is telling him to make the move. Or at least to tell him how he feels, but that would fuck everything up and everything is fucking perfect right now.

Isn't it?

“Yeah,” he responds dumbly, kicking open the front door once they arrive there. They set the trash down and then before Matt even has the opportunity to start talking about anything, Brianna and her friends enter the house after them. They talk about nonsense, when all Matt wants to talk about is how much he _wants_ Jared. 

An hour later everyone is departing the party and there are only a couple of people left – and Matt is right beside Jared as he's getting his jacket on and about to walk out the door.

“Come out with me?” he asks. Of course Matt does. 

They walk a ways from the house to his car. Matt's waiting for him to say something first – to bring up what's on both of their minds.

“It feels too much like the first time,” he says finally, and Matt knows what he means.

“I know,” he replies, unable to look him in the eyes as he says it. “It – I don't know why it does.”

“Me neither. I just – Maybe...” he starts, but before finishing his sentence he rushes forward, wrapping his arms around Matt and hugging him tightly. It's so weird having his body this close again, lanky limbs and all, Matt wraps his arms around him too. He breathes him in, wishing that they could have just one more time of it being just them – no girlfriends or wives – no one around to judge or say anything. Just him and Jared and a bed for one night – maybe then things wouldn't hurt so badly. Maybe then he wouldn't think about him sometimes when he's with Brianna. It's wrong – he knows it – and he's trying his best to not think about it.

It's not giving into his desires too much if he's only hugging him, right?

But it doesn't seem like it's going to stay being a hug. Jared pulls away only slightly, just enough so that they can look at each other now – and Matt can feel it coming. He knows what's about to happen and doesn't dare to fight it. 

He closes his eyes during the kiss, cherishing every feeling he's having, the waves of excitement rushing through his veins. He gets higher doing this than he ever does playing a show, and he wants to keep this high – to do it every night and feel it forever. To know he will always get to do it and never be afraid of losing it.

But just like that and it's gone, Jared has his hand behind his neck and standing two steps back awkwardly, looking as if he's just committed a crime.

“It's okay,” Matt tells him, making sure he knows he's not mad at him for doing it – not at all. At least he had the guts to, Matt isn't sure he could've ever gotten himself to do the same.

“I'm, I'm going to head home now,” Jared says, as if he needs to tell him what he's doing. He doesn't move, though, simply stands there still, staring the ground. Matt can hear the faint noise of laughter and music emitting from his house, and firework explosions going off in the distance. 

“Okay,” Matt says after a minute, and then Jared's getting in his car. Just as he's about to shut the door, Matt tugs him out by his arm, pressing him up against the side of the car and kissing him harshly, his hands raking through his hair and pulling, tugging, everything that he shouldn't be.

Jared moans, kissing him deeper than before...

It's all over much too fast. Jared says a quick goodbye and speeds away, leaving Matt standing in the middle of the road like a fucking idiot.

He _is_ a fucking idiot.

There's a lot of things left unsaid, but he assumes they'll just have to stay that way, as he loves Brianna and she's his wife for God's sake. He forces himself to suppress this memory as well, to forget that it ever happened, and he tells himself to not think about Jared in that way again.

It never works.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm SUPER into this pairing right now and couldn't resist writing this one. I started writing a Beau / Oli / Kellin fic but it was going to take me too long to finish so I did this one instead. I may or may not finish that one and post, but to be honest with you guys that one is mostly smut haha XD Also - this was written in one day's time so if there are any mistakes I apologize - I was super tired today and felt like crap, but I told myself I wanted to get this posted before the actual holiday.


End file.
